The 50 rules of the avengers
by MidnightWriter084
Summary: Anyone can be an avenger. But only those who follow the rules make it.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the avengers. Rules 1-10.

"If you are going to be an avenger, you need to follow the rules," Steve said to the new team.

"So, listen closely!" Natasha ordered, looking at Sam, as he was known to never listen, who gulped as the black widows deadly gaze lan

tded on him.

"Tasha stop terrifying them, now let's begin."

Number one) Never, and I mean never annoy Natasha. She will find you and kill you in the worst way possible. By listening to your least favourite band on repeat while being tied to a metal chair and magic inhibitors on.

Number two) If Banner turns into the Hulk do two things. Run for your life and get Natasha

Number three) Don't get into a Yo' mamma battle with Tony or Clint. You don't want their egos getting any more bigger.

Number four) Don't go for a ride in Tony's suit. The last one who did landed in a tree.

Number five) Don't cut Thors hair unless you want to be thrown off a tower.

Number six) Don't let Tony join karaoke night. He sounds like a cat being strangled.

Number seven) Don't attempt to make my shield or Furys eyepatch more 'pretty'. Tony did that once and it did not end well.

Number eight) If Natasha and Clint are in the same room, do NOT sing or play any sort of love song. The last person who did got electrocuted.

Number 9) Don't leave Tony or Clint in the same room unsupervised. There WILL be a prank war.

Number 10) Don't let Tony make a group chat!


	2. Chapter 2

Rule number 11) Don't call Fury at 3 in the morning whilst drunk or you'll be fired. Tony knows that.

Rule number 12) Avoid Natasha in the morning. She is not a morning person.

Rule number 13) Wanda does NOT attend Hogwarts so stop asking and she will not move stuff for you.

Rule number 14) No Rhodey won't give you a grenade launcher to blow up amn abandoned factory *cough* Sam *cough*

Rule number 15) Don't mimic Fury by saying 'me be captain Nick'.

Rule number 16) I am not to be known as capsicle to all those feeling like being Tony for the day, nor is Natasha spidey.

Rule number 17) Spiderman is not to become a member of the avengers.

Rule number 18) No interfering with the Justice League.

Rule number 19) Don't attempt to get Thor drunk, it will fail badly.

Rule number 20) Don't poke Bruce with needles if you value your life.


	3. Chapter 3

**The 100 rules of the avengers. If anyone was confused or suprised by rule 17, I don't really think that Tony would allow it, seeing as he is a teenager.**  
Chapter 3) Rules 21-30  
Rule number 21) Don't walk randomly through walls when people are trying to have a conversation *cough*vision*cough*  
Rule number 22) Don't blow up toasters if you don't want Tony using you for target practice. Just a hint, they won't find the body.  
Rule number 23) If you care about staying alive, kindly don't point out that Clint and Natasha's kid would look like Merida from Brave.  
Rule number 24) And don't make them watch Brave.  
Rule number 25) No starting nerf gun wars in Tony's tower or you will be thrown out of a window by a 'science experiment of see what people think about being smashed through something yourself' literally seeing as last time it happened Tasha smashed a TV that was Tony's favourite from falling into it and was almost admitted into hospital thanks to Tony.  
Rule number 26) Kindly don't fill my punching bag with rocks as it will break and so will my knuckles and I will then gladly oblige to do the same to your punching bag or whatever equipment you use. And yes that does mean your suit Rhodey.  
Rule number 27) Don't challenge Natasha, Clint, Thor or me to a fight without weapons or suits. You will lose and you will be embarrassed.  
Rule number 28) Baby photos are forbidden as chances are Stark would make sure they were hung in the entry to both SHIELD and the tower.  
Rule number 29) Don't take anyone camping as chances are it will end in injuries and arguments.  
Rule number 30) Don't offer Stark alcohol. He is already a drunk idiot enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own the avengers. Thank you all for reading.**  
Chapter 4) Rules 31-40  
Rule number 31) Don't get Tony started on Thermonuclear Astrophysics. He will not shut up about it.  
Rule number 32) Don't paint Tony's suit bright pink with rainbows and flowers on it. He will make you bankrupt.  
Rule number 33) Don't steal Thor's pop tarts, even though he steals everyone else's pop tarts.  
Rule number 34) Don't start a laser tag game in Tony's tower. Thor still doesn't understand the game and throws his hammer at everyone who tries to shoot him.  
Rule number 35) Don't do anything embarrassing. It will end up on YouTube.  
Rule number 36) Don't try to make Natasha teach you Russian. It will end up with her swearing a lot at you in Russian.  
Rule number 37) Bruce will not turn into the Hulk for your own entertainment.  
Rule number 38) Hiding Tony's stocks of alcohol will result in you having to explain to Fury why you were arrested for theft.  
Rule number 39) Do NOT suggest that Fury should buy a parrot.  
Rule number 40) Don't mention that you don't like aeroplanes when we are already on the helicarrier.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own the avengers. Thanks you all for reading. This will be the last chapter.**  
 **Chapter 5) Rules 41-50**  
Rule number 41) Don't try to find other people dates, especially Bruce. There's a chance he will get a bit annoyed and turn a little bit green.  
Rule number 42) Don't start a game of Truth or Dare or the following will happen: Tony, Natasha and Clint are very, VERY competitive, Thor doesn't understand the game and Bruce will most likely report it to Fury who will then proceed to yell at everyone.  
Rule number 43) Drinking games also end badly, last time Tony, Natasha and Thor drank all the alcohol.  
Rule number 44) Pepper always should be informed if there are to be any games in the tower so Tony doesn't act like a childish brat if he loses.  
Rule number 45) The aim of training is NOT to test weapons on other people, such as Tony.  
Rule number 46) No making people watch scary movies. Last time Tony tried to scare the living hell out of everyone.  
Rule number 47) I would leave your doors locked if you don't want Tony to sneak into your room and prank you.  
Rule number 48) Prank calls to Fury are forbidden as he apparently can ground you.  
Rule number 49) Don't let Thor run out of pop tarts. He loves pop tarts so much he isn't the same person without them, literally!  
Rule number 50) Don't hack into Shield if you don't want to be turned into a cleaner for SHIELD by Fury.  
Make sure to remember these rules if you value your life in the tower if you choose to visit or live there. Now lets get on with training," Steve finally concluded.


End file.
